Nickname
Kimmy, Destroyer of Tourist Traps
SECRETS2DISCOVER
🔐 A Riddle
👻 0/0
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Kim's Secrets
The Bedroom
You've wandered into the most private room in the Hall.
This is where the Lady of the House keeps her secrets. Read her diary (the bits Mr. Sterces will allow), judge her dating profile, rummage through her nightstand — and decide whether she's worth a cup of tea or a vial of something stronger. There's a riddle hidden in here too. The ghosts know the answer.
📔The DiaryMeet Kim
📱The PhoneTinder
🕯️NightstandHer Things
🫖Tea or PoisonVerdict
Character Sheet
Meet Kim
Kim Dorn
Lady of the House
Age26 (mentally 84)
OriginDutch
ClassHistory Detective
WhereaboutsProbably in TinyVersailles
AlignmentChaotic & Curious
Who is she?
Meet Kim. She's talking in the third person now, because it makes her sound mysterious. She's a 26-year-old, Dutch, full-time sarcastic history-detective van-lifer. Were those too many words? Yes. She thinks so too.
She will write a ghost story and not sleep for days herself. Or read about a love story with a bad ending, cry about it, then laugh because someone in the story had a really dumb hat.
Oh… and? She has an obsession with finding the secrets of the world because she believes the world has more to offer. You've been warned.
Traits
CuriousADHD EnergyPositivity
StubbornNerdyFunky
Sarcastic
Skills
Snooping11 / 10
If someone sneezed in 1322 and no one recorded it, Kim will know.
Animal Whispering9 / 10
Stray cats follow her. Birds chill on her van mirror. A goat once walked 3 km just to snuggle her. Okay, maybe not... But she does love animals.
City Reading7 / 10
Drop her in any city and within three hours she's found the best hidden scandals, the sad statue and his story, and the ghost haunting the old bakery.
Obsessive Organizer8 / 10
She can and will make a spreadsheet with 12 tabs for one Royal Family. Why? Because it's FUN and she wants to feel like a family member.
Torn pages
Her Diary
The actual diary. Or what's left of it. Mr. Sterces keeps "editing."
Swipe at your own risk
Kim's Tinder
She might already be in a relationship, but if you're a ghost with a tragic backstory, an Egyptian Empress, or an emotionally damaged 18th-century revolutionary… call me. Will you date her?
Kim, 26
Bio
Vegetarian. Van-lifer. Emotionally invested in the downfall of empires and the rise of Queens. Will absolutely derail a date to talk about plagues or how cities are haunted. Looking for someone who asks questions, cries about weird statues, and doesn't mind if I compare our relationship to a crumbling 17th-century canal house. Bonus points if you also think ghosts are just misunderstood historians.
My best red flags
When I say "just one more location," I am lying. You will not rest your feet soon. Emotionally attached to at least 3 dead queens. At least. Will keep you and myself awake after too many horror stories.
My therapist says
"Maybe stop trying to discover everyones secrets as if it's your way of breathing. People are not cases. She is wrong."
The quickest way to my heart is
Tell me we can visit all the museums at our next date.
Most spontaneous thing I've done
Changed countries, changed careers, bought a van, dyed my hair, and started a business... Within a couple of weeks.
My real-life superpower
Finding the spiciest historical scandal in any town within 3 hours. Never forgets a fact. Forgets where she parked, sure... But that 14th-century monk and the baker's wife? Etched in stone.
My villain origin story
The day I found out school skips all the juicy bits. I was 9. I've been raging ever since.
If I were a drink
A double espresso martini in a chipped museum mug. Keeps you awake, teaches you something weird, may summon a ghost. Lovely.
Biggest misconception about me
That I'm organized. My life is a van-shaped archaeological dig site.
I don't need attention, but…
If the ghost of Anne Boleyn shows up, I will live-stream it.
Famous last words
"Wait, this tunnel wasn't on the map…"
Iconic quote I definitely said
"She massacred everyone? I mean... I kind of get it."
What keeps me up at night (besides ghosts)
"My 6th coffee because I wanted to quickly fix this website before going to bed."
This or that: Exile or Execution?
Exile, obviously. Do you KNOW how many cities I'd map during that? Execution is so… final. Exile is just networking in a new location.
Basic info
Job
Founder of Secrets2Discover
Age
26, mentally 84
Anthem
Dragonborn — Jeremy Soule
Swipe the photos · ✕ to run · ♥ if you're brave
What's on the table by the bed
The Nightstand
A mess of polaroids, letters she never sent, and other evidence of a life lived loudly. Pick something up.
Tap anything · everything has a story
The nightstand verdict
Tea or Poison
🍵 Green Flags
- Will absolutely help you build a haunted library.
- Will fall in love with a city before she falls in love with you.
- Emotionally supports local pigeons.
- Actually listens when you talk. You're a documentary to her.
- Has no chill, but all the curiosity.
- Thinks positivity is sexy.
☠️ Red Flags
- Will pause mid-makeout to tell you who died in this building.
- Accidentally ghosts people by getting lost in a library for six hours.
- Believes she can emotionally fix dead historical men.
- Cried harder over an 18th-century prisoner's final letter than her last breakup.
- She sees the best in everything. (It's annoying.)
- Will invent excuses to make more coffee.
Will you drink tea with me… or poison me?
Weigh the flags. Choose a cup. There are no wrong answers (there is one wrong answer).
✕
Kim
✕
Mr. Sterces
A Secret, Overheard
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